Monday, February 23, 2009

"Showers" of Blessings

I hosted a baby shower for my grandson on Saturday. It was so much fun. The ladies from church, my mother and sisters and one of my best friends were all there. It was great. I was a good grandma and let everyone else have a turn holding the baby until everyone else left and then I took my turn! We had lunch together, watched my daughter open her gifts and enjoyed a wonderful time of fellowship together. Then I, my husband and youngest son had supper with our daughter and son-in-law. It ended up being such a relaxing, enjoyable day.

The start of the day, however, was a little stressful for me! I woke up at about 3:30 am and as I was dozing off and on I had a nightmare. It was not your usual nightmare. There were no ghosts or monsters. In my dream, my sister, who was supposed be at my house between 7:30 and 8:00 am to help me, didn't show up until 12:00 pm. I had to put some of the guests to work helping me get ready! Well, my sister did show up and we got everything done, with her help and that of my husband and oldest son and I finally did relax. I sort of find that I have my grandmother's mindset at times. I told her that she shouldn't worry so much about things and her response was to tell me that her worry did a lot of good because nothing she ever worried about ever happened! I think about that whenever I start to worry about things. I still do worry but I am learning to trust the Lord for those things I worry about. I once saw a newspaper clipping that said "worry is prayer to a false idol". What an apt way to put that. When I worry, I am actually saying that I have some sort of control over things. I am putting myself or some other person or thing above God and denying, if only to myself, that He is sovereign and that He knows what is best for me, my husband and my children. That increases the magnitude of the sin of worry. We don't think about it being a denial of God but it is. I pray that God would deliver me from that sin.

I am going to town so I need to go for now.

Till next time...

PS To those faithful brothers who pray for me and my family, God bless you! I pray for you as well. We know that when we pray that God's will be done, that prayer is always answered! What an antidote to worry!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Baptism, Communion and Church Membership

March 1st will be a wonderful day for my family. As I said in my last blog, it is the day my son and son-in-law join with us as members and it is also the day that my son-in-law and grandson get baptized. I was raised as a Lutheran and had no real understanding of the purpose of baptism. Now whether that was because I wasn't listening (this is a good possibility!), I don't know but my beliefs were VERY fuzzy. I grew up, was confirmed at the end of the 8th grade (as is customary in that particular Lutheran church), and was married in the Lutheran church. I was always thankful to come from a conservative Lutheran church and that the word "obey" was a part of our wedding vows but other than that my "faith" was pretty much based on tradition. As a young married woman I joined a Baptist based church. Well, it was really an independent Bible church but their views are pretty much Baptist. They don't believe in infant baptism, they do believe in an open communion table without wine (grape juice is used). There are several key points of doctrine that disagree with the Reformed view of things. I fell into those doctrines because I had no real basis for believing the doctrines of the Lutheran church. By God's providence a pastor from the RCUS offered to preach at this little independent church while we were without a pastor. Two of my best friends left the independent church and became members of the RCUS. God used this to create in me a thirst to find out what the doctrines of the Reformed church were. I went through the "TULIP" book and looked up every single bible verse that was listed in that little book. What I saw opened my eyes! Wow, the Bible speaks of God's election everywhere. Wow, man cannot be saved by any action of his own. Wow, wow, wow! Well, needless to say I transferred my membership to an RCUS church and have never looked back, except with great thanksgiving for that pastor's willingness to come and preach to us.

After I joined the Reformed church I began to learn so much! We went through this little book on infant baptism and there I learned about baptism being a sign and seal of the covenant. I had never heard that before and suddenly infant baptism made sense to me! We talked about communion and what that means and how God uses it to remind us of the sacrifice of His son, our Lord. Now when we have a baptism or take communion my heart is full to overflowing. I am so thankful for the blessings of the covenant, for the communion of the saints, for all that God does for us in His mercy and grace.

Do I believe that baptism or communion saves? No I do not. I believe that God has a covenant with me as a believer and these things help me to know that He ALWAYS keeps His covenant, even when I am unfaithful. I have reflected a lot on this lately because we will be seeing 2 kinds of baptism on our special day. One will be a sign and seal for a covenant child and one will be a sign and seal of an adult's confession of faith. I am so thankful to God for His covenant promises. He doesn't ever promise that any of my children are elect but He does promise that He will deal with them because of His covenant with me. They will be blessed because of that covenant.

Once upon a time, someone asked me if my father was saved. I responded that I didn't know (as how can we ever know the state of a person's heart) but that he had been baptized and was a communicant member of the Lutheran church. The man replied that that didn't mean a thing. Well, after much thought I believe that it did mean something. This man was looking for an experience, i.e. did my father walk the aisle?, did he have some great conversion experience? Well as far as I know he never did. But on the other hand, we are not commanded to base our salvation on an experience. This conversation helped solidify my beliefs because I had to look them up and see whether I was correct. I never found any scripture that led me to believe that everyone must have a conversion "experience". I did find a lot of scripture about how God deals with His elect. Was my father one of His elect? I don't know but God gives me peace about all of my loved ones. When you get right down to it baptism and communion do mean a lot more in a believer's life than an experience. They tell us something about that person. He did as he was commanded by God. Some people are converted because of an experience. This doesn't mean that some pastor's words "saved" that person. It means that the person was one of God's elect and He used that experience to bring one of His elect to Him! For me this has been a real blessing. Once I realized that God Himself is in control of who His elect are, I could rest in His will. I do not have to "save" anyone. God uses everything I do in the life of His elect, even my sin! Does this mean I should sin against people with impunity? God forbid! It means that I do not have to take a burden upon myself that God never meant me to carry! I can rest in Him when it comes to my family and know that EVERYTHING works together for good to them that are called according to His purpose. I can rest in Him and know that if one of my family members isn't elect this is good as well! What a blessing to know that God isn't just sitting up there letting "fate" run its course. He controls everything and not a hair can fall from my head without His knowledge and will! WOW!

Now, about church membership...I have been thinking about this an awful lot lately as well. One of my dearest friends renounced her church membership and says that she now believes that the visible church is not necessary. This brings up several questions in my mind. The first being how do you get baptized if you are not a member of a church? Do you have to renounce baptism in all of its forms? The second is how do you take communion? Do you always make sure that you attend a church that has an open communion table? How do you know ahead of time? If you are "grazing" at many different churches how do you get truly fed? What are your doctrines? Is it a case of anything goes? I know myself too well to think that I could mature in a situation like that. How do you deal with personal trials without the fellowship of the saints? Can you truly have fellowship without that bond of church membership? If I go to this church this Sunday and that church next Sunday can I ever truly get to know those saints? Can I ever truly partake of their trials in order to pray for them as I ought? How do they get to know me? If I am indulging in unrepented sin, who confronts me as the Bible commands? How is discipline administered? If I am accountable to no one on earth, how do I resolve these issues? These questions have solidified for me in my own heart that church membership is vital in the life of the Christian. Over the years I have noticed that usually there is some unrepented sin that causes these breaks within the body. Whether it is unresolved anger with another person (unadmitted anger with God) or an admitted anger with God because He didn't answer our prayers in a way we thought He should. These things have caused me to examine my own life and truly question the unrepented sins I find there. As our pastor said in a recent sermon, it is easy to see that sin but we must see it as sin and then confess it. It is a lot harder to put it into words even to myself and ask forgiveness. It is easy for me to ask God to forgive me in a blanket prayer. It is much harder for my sinful heart to say to God that I refused to submit to my circumstances, please forgive me for this sin. I am so thankful for a faithful pastor who preaches the gospel to me every week, for faithful saints to help hold me accountable and share my joys and my sorrows, for my family (who God uses to show me my sin on a daily basis) and even for all of the turmoil in our church family because God has used it to bring me to repentance in so many areas of my own sinful walk! God is good!

I could probably sit here and blog all day but I had better get busy!

Till next time...

P.S. For those of you who are wondering, I am not doing this at school! I am not going to do that anymore! I will be a faithful servant! I am home today with a sick boy. He threw up 3 times yesterday! EEEWWW!

Monday, February 16, 2009

The "Expedition" Game

Last Friday at the highschool basketball game the elementary students played an exhibition game during the halftimes. They were VERY excited. The students were coming into the library all day on Friday asking me if I would be going. The 4th grade girls were especially enthusiastic. They kept asking if I would be at their "Expedition" game. It was funny. It is hard to remember what it was like to be in elementary school. Was I that happy and excited about something that simple? I think that I probably was. That is the blessing of children. That is why God calls them a blessing. They show us the way to express a simple joy and thanksgiving for the good things God has given us. Their happiness is contagious. We can use that example in our daily walk. Jesus says that we must trust in Him with the faith of a child.

God is showing me the way to that thankfulness. When I think things are hard and I wish things were different He is showing me that He is in control! He has sent me these things for my good and for His glory. Our lives have changed so much since we got married. My husband spent about 20 years working on ranches. He was fired from 2 of them. I felt devasted in both cases. The first time we moved to Laramie, WY for about 5 months. We had to leave our church home, my family and all of our friends. My husband's new boss was a person who communicated by yelling a lot. But by God moving us from Colorado to Wyoming He removed me from the idolatry I had for the church family I had in Colorado. He made me grow and rely on Him for friendship instead of on the people of the church. He opened my eyes to see some of the problems that had been building in the church I had been attending. When we moved back to Colorado we began attending our home church again. But things weren't the same. We didn't live in the same community. I saw that the bond I thought I had with some of my church friends wasn't as strong as I had thought it was. I desperately wanted to belong to the clique that was there at that time but God had a better plan. He took us from that body and moved us to another body of believers, one that didn't rely on cliques for fellowship. We still travel about 50 miles one way to attend worship services but God has provided a way for us to do that.

When my husband was fired from the second ranch, I was once more devastated. Leaving the ranching lifestyle was HARD! I didn't trust God as I should have. I worried for 7 years about EVERYTHING. My husband and I struggled with our circumstances. We prayed for God to remove us from those circumstances. We applied for several ranch jobs but the door was always closed. I questioned all of the decisions that my husband made. I nagged him. I was not the wife of Proverbs 31. God has shown me time and time again that when my husband makes a decision it is always with the good of his family foremost in his mind. But I didn't trust in that. Finally God brought me to the point where I had to either submit or turn away. I thank Him for His faithfulness. When I spoke of the damage caused by the sin of unsubmissiveness (is that a word?) I do know what I am talking about. My hard heart caused worry for my husband. It caused turmoil in our household. It caused me to be impatient with my children and the children I deal with at school. It began to seep into the way I dealt with the body of believers. Now that I see the peace and joy of submitting to my circumstances and to my husband I wonder why I fought it for so long. But that too is God's providential will. Some of us have to fight God for a long time to reach the peace that He offers us when we submit. That is part of the maturing process for me. I have a stubborn heart and I do think I'm right too much of the time. God is showing me that I don't know better than Him. He gave me my wonderful husband to show me how I need to learn to behave. When God speaks of a servant's heart, that is my husband. It doesn't matter how despitefully he is used by his bosses, he still does the very best job he possibly can. I am trying to do the same.

God has brought me to the point of thankfulness. Do we still have trials? Yes we do but we are learning to be thankful in whatever circumstances He sends. The MANY blessings in my life? A husband who loves me no matter how sinful I am, three beautiful children, a wonderful son-in-law who is taking care of my daughter and grandson and growing in his faith, my beautiful little grandson, who is bringing so much joy to all of us. My work is a blessing and I am GOOD at it. I find myself thanking God for my husband's job. Last year all I could do was complain about his boss and wish that he could find a job where his talents are appreciated. I am an emotional person. Just ask my children. When I think of the goodness of God and of His mercy and unending forgiveness to me I do get emotional and the tears are not far from the surface.

My church family is a big part of that joy. Many of the people from our first RCUS church are now fellowshipping with us and are awaiting the word from classis to join with us in membership. What a BLESSING it is to have those beautiful Christians with us every Sunday. What a blessing it is to pray for my brothers and sisters in Christ in their trials and to rejoice with them in everything God sends. I know that He uses them to help me grow as well. He is showing all of us that we can trust Him for ALL things. On March 1st my son and son-in-law will be joining Providence Reformed Church and my son-in-law and grandson will be baptized. It will be communion and we will be having a pot luck dinner. God is good, even to this ungrateful, sinful woman. PRAISE GOD, PRAISE HIM, PRAISE HIM, PRAISE HIM! HIS GOODNESS AND MERCY ARE FROM EVERLASTING TO EVERLASTING!

Till next time...

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

You Can't Stop a Woman When She's Out of Control

The title of this blog is also the title of a Rodney Crowell song. It was intended as a tongue in cheek assessment of a relationship gone sour from the man's point of view. It offended a lot of people but I always thought it was funny. It doesn't seem quite so funny anymore. Like most of satire it has A LOT of truth in it. A woman who is out of control can wreak havoc wherever she is. First of all she is out of the will of God. Out of that disobedience comes all sorts of trouble. She has flouted her husband's authority and she likes the taste of that so she begins to flout all male authority. She questions all of the decisions made by the pastor and elders of her church. She questions whether the pastor has enough knowledge to preach to HER. Maybe her knowledge is above his. She begins to whisper to her close friends. If they have no strong head of household to rein them in they are joining in with the first woman, causing strife among the widows and the unequally yoked to begin with. Then they will try to rope in others and the whispering campaign begins. There is really nothing for the pastor to do because he didn't really cause an offense to begin with. He offended just by being who he is; an authority figure. He really can't apologize because the reasons for the offense do not exist. He can do a blanket apology but then the requirements are raised, he didn't apologize for the specific offenses. We really don't care that he has no earthly idea what he did to offend these women so deeply. They are right and he is wrong and there is NOTHING he can ever do to make it right. (No, a woman out of control is not required to forgive as the Bible commands, in case you are wondering.)

What an example for the young women of this society! I am seeing it played out in the public school at which I work. These young girls have no modesty. They are ready for anything and will chase a boy with sexual innuendo and flirtation, etc. until he throws up his hands and says that he might as well give in to temptation. What happens next? The girl reports him for sexual harrassment and he is facing charges before he can count to three. Parents, if your children are in a public school situation, you MUST warn them. I have told my son that he is never to be alone with a girl in this school. He must ALWAYS be above reproach. There is no accountability on the part of the girls to be modest, to behave in a respectful and respectable manner. Anything goes. They can wear whatever they want and no boy is supposed to think the less of them. They are allowed to touch a boy in a disrespectful manner and it is okay.

I guess that the reason I equate these is that we are certainly seeing the effects of rampant feminism playing out everywhere. In church, in public life and in the home. Jesus tells us to lay down our yoke and rest in Him. Part of our yoke as women is the desire to usurp our husband's authority. True freedom comes in submitting to his headship over you. Thank you, my dear husband for your care of me!

Till next time...

Monday, February 9, 2009

Playing Catch Up

Well, today was a "staff development" day. This a day for educational opportunities for certified staff. Sometimes they go over procedures, etc. I am contracted to work these days as well, though the other paraeducators don't work these days. I do so that I can keep up with the extra library work that accumulates through the "Book It" program, hosting the book fairs and in the last 3 weeks, spending time with the baby and staying home with my sick boy. I did get quite a bit done but it was all extremely time consuming so it doesn't feel like it! But with this good start to the week I should be able to whip through the rest of it easily.

Yesterday was another good day at church. Our oldest son passed his confirmation exam so we will be having confirmation soon. I know that there are MANY, MANY people who are baptized and confirmed who later turn away but I trust God to keep him. There are also many others who "walk the aisle" and are supposedly converted who never darken the door of a church again. I wonder about the truth of those conversions. We are not saved by works but we will do those works out of a thankful heart. I don't think that you can have one without the other.

I have to go get groceries this evening. These work days on Mondays are hard because I usually go get groceries (I know, I know, cry me a river!) so it is late when I get home. And I have to go for now.

Till next time...

Friday, February 6, 2009

Vandalism and Adventures in Facebook

One thing I have noticed working at a K-12 school is the amount of vandalism that goes on in the highschool end of the facility. It seems that there is a real disconnect between the 5th grade, when the students are still in elementary and the 6th grade when they become middle schoolers. Then when they become high schoolers it becomes even more pronounced. There is no accountability on their part. Their actions are always someones else's fault. But working in a public school environment and seeing the lack of responsibility taken by adults it is not really a surprise. It does, however bother me. I applied for and received a grant from Picturing America. We got 40 extremely high quality posters through this grant and a teachers resource book with step by step lesson plans. These posters are beautiful! I hung several in the new wing of our highschool, only to find that they had been vandalised. Someone had stapled through one numerous times, several had tack holes in them. I keep telling myself that people are more important than things but at one time there was a moral code that kept even the worst offenders from doing the things that are done on a daily basis today. I know that the sinfulness of men hasn't changed, just some of the barriers that have kept people from doing the evil in their hearts. Do I need to lower my expectations? Is it enough to raise my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord? I sometimes am guilty of thinking that it is up to me to change these things instead of trusting God with them. I can still show these students the love of God even if they never see it anywhere else. I can be patient, longsuffering and loving of them even when they don't "deserve" it. I don't deserve it when God does these things for me. It's called mercy. I can remember that with some of these students the only kind words they will hear will be the words they hear from the employees at our school.
Those of us who love our children and are doing our best to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord have a hard time seeing the opposite of that. It is foreign to us. I need to remind myself always that it is only through the Grace of my Lord that I am able to do those things. ALL good things come from Him.

I may have to take a little jaunt to my daughter's house to see my grandson. I haven't seen him since MONDAY! Oh my goodness! I have nearly finished his bedding ensemble (that's a fancy word for set! Fancy Nancy! Try this book by Jane O'Connor, it's hilarious-that's a fancy word for funny!)

I signed up for Facebook this week! First of all I had to have my daughter talk me through the process. Then after I finally got signed up I did one of the things I have told my kids never to do. I took this "IQ" quiz and gave them my cell phone # to get the results! I got about 10-15 text messages thanking me for signing up for something called "Cellflirt" Whooaa! I stopped that pdq and have learned my lesson, be careful on the internet!

And now duty calls, I need to make time sheets for our reading program.

Till next time...

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Sick Days

I have taken the last two days off staying home with my little one, who is sick. Yesterday I woke up, to have to clean a HUGE mess in his room. He has a loft bed with a desk under...He threw up in the night...Can you guess how long it took me to clean up? But trials are never unmixed with blessings. I have been sewing like a mad fiend. I am hosting a baby shower for my new grandson on February 21st and am making him a "John Deere" bedding ensemble. It will be cute when I finish. I still have to finish the quilt, make the curtains and the bumper pads. I have already finished 2 sheets, a dust ruffle and the diaper stacker (you know, the thing with the hanger in the top and you stack diapers in it and hang it above the changing table). My daughter has been "reminding" me that I need to finish it since the idea came to me in November. God provides.

I have had to have a substitute at school for the past 2 days. I had no lesson plans made up (I just go step by step through my library skills books) and the last time I had a sub she gave my login and password to a student. People are so shocked by that but I can see how it happened. We live in a rural "bedroom" community and a lot of people work in Colorado Springs or Denver. She is of my mother's generation and doesn't realize the dangers of letting a student have your password. I wouldn't have even known if the student in question hadn't been bragging in the library that he knew my password. I changed it right away but when she couldn't get on the library program she called yesterday and acted a little offended when I didn't give her my new password. I have since learned that there is a special login and PW for library substitutes so I will give her that so that she can check out when she is there. That way my password is safe and she can still check out to students.

I hate leaving the library with "strangers". I have found that I have become very possessive of "my" library and "my" books. There is a book called "The Library Dragon" that really convicted my heart about that possessiveness. In the book the new librarian won't let any of the children touch any of the books or read them because of their sticky fingers. (Believe me, I can relate! Do you know where children's fingers are while you are doing a read aloud?! Up noses, in mouths and who knows where else! We found a HUGE booger in one book one day!) Sorry if I've grossed anyone out but...So I have become a little bit obssessive about these things. Hand sanitizer and bleach wipes have become my friends. After reading this book I realized that it is my job to teach library manners but I also need to foster that joy that comes to children when they read a good book. The joy that they feel coming to the library to check out. I don't want to kill that joy. Most of them lose it quickly enough on their own when they reach middle school and high school. I am learning to walk that fine line between being the "Library Dragon" and being the "Library Goddess".

I have received approval to go to a library workshop in Pueblo. I went for the first time last year and LOVED it. There were 2 workshops that were especially valuable. One was a Library of Congress workshop on using Primary Sources and one was done by a librarian who gave reviews on books that teens are REALLY into. I came back and nagged my administrative team to let me set up a LOC workshop for our school. It was really neat. Everyone was required to attend the first session but they weren't required to do all of them. There were college credits available and several teachers took advantage of that. I hope that they are using what they learned in their classrooms. There is a lot of FREE material available on the LOC website. If you are a librarian it is very valuable. I used the information from the other workshop to do my book orders last fall. It was a great help as well. I think that this year I will stay in Pueblo overnight and not have to drive back and forth. The only thing is that I think that I can find a less expensive hotel than the one chosen for attendees.

I have to admit that I have become slightly addicted to this blogging! I think I will stop here for this time and get busy sewing.

Till next time...

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Two Letters

Well I wrote and sent two letters this week that were very difficult for me to write. One was to a dear friend who has left the fellowship of the saints and gone her own way. The other was to our classis. I have never written a letter like those before and was a little nervous. Will my friend hate me now? Will she cut me out of her life forever? I realize that sometimes that is what is God requires of us when we speak the truth in love. The gospel is a two edged sword and sometimes it does sever the ties of friendship and love. Sometimes it severs the bond of familial love as well. I just pray that in her heart my friend knows that I do love her and that my letter was written from that love. God is faithful and He can restore her if it is His will.

Praise God!

Till next time...

Monday, February 2, 2009

A Haircut and Church on Sunday

Well, I dodged the bullet last week at school. Back before Christmas, I was having a bad hair month and had the thought that I might as well get a buzz cut and not have to mess with it any more so...I put forward a proposal to the fifth grade teacher (who is a male and sports tresses longer and curlier than anyone's at the school!). I told him that I was sick of my hair and I would be willing to buzz it off but why didn't he and I have a little contest to see if we could raise a little money for the school. Much to my surprise he agreed and the contest was on. I made "wanted" posters and hung them in the hallways of the highschool and elementary (our school is Pre-K-12th grade), made money jars and set them up in the front office and our elementary principal helped me advertise. Up until last week I was ahead with $25 and he had $16. I thought for sure that I would be getting a buzz cut this Friday and I was getting NERVOUS. Much to my surprise the elementary students came in with A LOT of money and HE ended up winning with $135 plus change compared with my $25! All of those people who told me that they were going to make sure that we tied so that we'd both have to get a haircut chickened out when they saw how much money they would have to kick in. Now my hair is safe. This whole contest has made me think about how much our self worth (or whatever you want to call it) is wrapped up in our appearance. I am not my hair. The value that my Lord places on me has nothing to do with my appearance or what and who I am. It has all to do with the sacrifice of my Savior. How I wish for an opening with some of these children to show them the love of God. He has given me the opportunity with some and that is a blessing. I watch them and the middle school and high school students spend so much time worrying about their appearance. They are all beautiful to me. I wish they could see what I see.

Yesterday was a day of great joy for me at my church. Our sister congregation voted to dissolve their charge and to join with us as one congregation. This sister congregation was the one my family joined when we first became members of the RCUS. I have missed those saints so very much. They are the ones who were there with my husband and me when our little daughter was stillborn, they helped us through 2 miscarriages and through the birth of our oldest daughter (I was on bed rest for SIX months), through the birth of our oldest son (he was 7 weeks early). They wept with us and rejoiced with us, prayed for us and worked out the love of God to us here on earth. I would worship with the saints at Providence Reformed church and would wish that my brothers and sisters from Blue Cliff could be there with us. Now God has answered that prayer but not without a time of great testing for all of us. Dear ones became angry when this merger was first mentioned by our former pastor (who at the time was suffering from prostate cancer and wanted the merger so things would be easier for him). They would not hear of a merger even though one of those was his own daughter. When the dear saints who wanted the merger would occasionally visit they would express the desire to be with us always and I would renew my prayer. During the time of trial those rebellious ones tried to get our pastor fired for preaching heresy! They turned their backs against family members, in one case a mother and daughter completely cut a son and daughter out of their lives because these had confronted them with their sin and asked them to repent. Dear, dear friends have spurned people who had been friends and neighbors for years. At public events they turn their backs and refuse to speak to my brothers and sisters in Christ. Oh it ought not to be so!

But through all of the turmoil our congregation has been blessed. My oldest son will be confirmed soon, my son-in-law is to be baptized and join the church and our dear little grandson will be baptized, all on the same day! A new family is taking membership classes. The father began listening to R.C. Sproul and discovered that he is Reformed instead of Catholic and has been attending church regularly. Our elders are much more approachable and have such a heart for the welfare of our souls. And our dear, dear pastor has matured so much in the Lord, as have we all. We have prayed for years for growth, both spiritual and in membership and God has been faithful to answer that prayer. He has rooted out the idolatry toward one family that so many of us had in our hearts. Those who could not give up that idolatry right now are gone from our midst but I pray that God who is working repentance in my own heart will work His repentance in their hearts as well. I have learned so much about forgiveness from my pastor and elders through watching them forgive those who have so despitefully used them. We have learned so much about thankfulness through all of this as well. My heart is full. I know that this emotional time for me will pass but I also know that God is maturing me through all of this and that the joy of my salvation will still be there always.

Till next time...